for the love of god save me

I am being harrassed through my cell phone.

On friday, what Im assuming is a young guy called my cell phone before lunch time with this message: "heyy...its doug....im just calling...cuz ive been thinking about you a lot....and call me backk...um, i really want to see you...i hope you're going to come out tonight...cuz....i really want to see you...and um....call me back....ya...call me" or something equally eloquent.

Let me explain. I do not know a doug. I never have. And this particular doug sounds like he's 14. I ignored it.

the next day, when i checked my phone, this doug fellow called me 12 more times. 12. In less than 4 hours. He left some messages like so: "Hey! You're missing the party! Come out, you said you wanted to drink!" followed by some more messages of songs playing and him saying "Its doug..call me", not to mention a few calls from doug's friend Raze (yes, Raze) asking Justine (who Im assuming is me) to come on over to doug's place for this wikid party. So finally, i was actually at my phone when doug called.

"hello?"
"heyyy, whats up?"
"Who is this?"
"Its Doug"
"I think you have the wrong number"
"...."
"ya..sorry"
"oh...ok"
click.

2 minutes later. Same number appears on my screen.

"hello??"
"Hi this is Raze is Justine there?"
"You have the wrong the number."
"Oh ok sorry."

ThenI realized that this name justine sounded familliar. At the very beginning of the school year i got a few calls asking for a justine, Im quite sure. I couldnt be rude so I just kept on saying you have the wrong number. Then finally my friend picked up my phone, and said in a very blunt way: "You have the wrong number, this is not Justine's phone, you seriously have to stop calling here"

Anyways, by this point on saturday I thought this mess was over. I thought I was finally free of the suffocating grasp of doug (and to a lesser extent, Raze). the tonight, I get a text message, from a number I assume to be related to Doug and Raze, because it seemed familliar, and this is what it says "Wats up"

I reply, asking who this is, hoping to finally put this at rest. His reply: "who is this?"
then I say, "who are you looking for. Is this doug"
His reply: "Ya wats up"
So I say very bluntly "I have been getting a lot of messages from you. I dont know you. Stop calling this number."
His reply: "Y"
Now Im starting to get a little scared, and realize I may have made a giant mistake asking if this was doug, because he must think that I really am justine and am avoiding him all coy-like. As I was getting ready to text another message again reiterating that I DO NOT KNOW YOU AND YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER he sends another message saying "This isnt Doug"

And now to be perfectly honest, Im frightened for my life. This Doug fellow seems to really love this Justine girl, and if he really does think Im her, he doesnt seem to get the message that the feelings are not mutual. So, in fear for my well being, I decide this has gone on long enough and Im not going to encourage any more of this madness, so Im going to leave it. Now, after about 2 and half hours, this punk texts me again saying "This isnt Doug. I swear"

This freak doesnt seem to get it through his thick skull that he has the wrong number. Someone please tell me what to do. I dont want to have to change my phone number and go into some government protection program that would require me to change my name to Anastasia Beaverhousen. Seriously. Please help. I have a stalker...and he isnt even stalking me.

Love is (not so much) in the air

Its Valentines Day!! As for those who are Valentine-less, you are all probably plotting to poison my beef yakisoba for painfully reminding you. But as I too am sans Valentine (a shocker I know), I thought it would be nice to reminisce on better days, when we all had valentines, or 30.

Remember elementary school? When Valentine's day wasnt so much about having a date as it was about making your colorful little envelope and buying those bulk valentine's cards with disney characters on them? Those were good days. When girls had cooties and boys were smelly, but the girls were still excited when they got the card saying "I hope you have a really good valentine's day" instead of the one saying "I hope you have a good valentine's day" from the cute boy who looked like Macauly Culkin (back in the day when all he was was the cute boy in Home Alone, and we didn't know that he was actually home alone with Micheal Jackson). Or when the player 6-year-old would write his own personal message in his cards to all the girls, telling each and every one of them "I Lik You". Aah memories.

So this Valentine's day, I say to those of us celebrating alone....screw it! Eat metric tonnes of heart-shaped chocolates, fantasize about anjelina jolie (who married brad pitt?!?!?!) and have a wikid awesome day!

snl funny

I was taking a break from studying to eat some cake, so I watched 5 minutes of SNL. Now normally, I dont find weekend update that funny. I mean sometimes its like "ah yes. Clever" but today, in case you werent watching, there was a pretty funny joke:

"Ernst Myer, a harvard professor of evolutionary biology, died recently. He was killed by a bigger, stronger evolutionary biologist. "

Maybe its because I'm studying biology right now (genetics not evolution, but still), but I thought that was hilarious.

ooh bioch

As everyone is well aware, because of lauren's progress blog and the very fact that you are most likely enduring them yourself (unless you are insanely lucky like ryan), it's midterm season. Midterm season has ritualistically been a time of discontent for yours truly, and this time 'round hasn't been too different.

My first exam was in a little course called biochem. I ended up doing quite well to my astonishment, but the days leading up to it were nothing short of pure evil. The sheer volume of biochemical pathways, enzymes, chemical structures, and other uncomprehensive crap was just mindboggling. No jokes, studying for this was horrible.

Not only that, but the night before the exam I learned that my prof (who kind of resembled Obi-wan) was clinically insane. You see, in class he's probably the most monotone, excruciatingly boring professor in the history of science, but in online discussion he transforms completely. For example:

"Dr. Vance, where are glycosphingolipids formed?"-sincerely, innocent lamb

"I GUESS YOU WERE ASLEEP. SORRY IT WAS SO BORING FOR YOU. LYOSOMES."- sincerely, the slaughter

Seriously, what kind of prof says that to a student?? I read that and was stunned (and thoroughly amused). Poor kid, he never knew what was coming. Plus the crazy types his answers in caps, so hes like screaming at him. The best part though, is that the prof spelled lysosomes wrong. Any resemblance to Obi-wan was immediately refuted.

It was an interesting exam to study for, but hte memory of monday night will stay with me forever. Oooh lyosomes....what a lunatic. I realize this may not be as amusing to those not in my class, or those who dont know what a lysosome is. But be assured, it is damn funny stuff.

So I was chatting with some friends today about a plethora of random things, and while doing so I came to the conclusion that I suck at blogging. Firstly, I only really got this account so I could comment on my friend's blogs. Secondly, I rarely update, and when I do, its pretty boring. Its ok, I admit it. Im just not much of a writer, and besides that, my life is pretty uneventful. Plus, I can't make mundane daily events sound hilarious, I dont have the ability to stir up controversy, or have any provocative thoughts on world events, human nature, etc. So I would just like to formally apologize to like, the 5 people who actually read this crappy blog: sorry for not posting often, and sorry for making you regret reading it when I do post. But its all good. From now on, I wont post so haphazardly; I'll post if I actually do have something of interest to say...which means significantly less. But I definately will be around to comment, so keep it coming.